BEFORE VIEWING PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS PAGE OF HUMOR CAN REMIND US TO TAKE THINGS LIGHTLY AND OPTIMISTICALLY. THE JOKES, CARTOONS AND PHOTOS ARE CREATED BY PEOPLE WITH A DISABILITY. IF YOU FIND ANYTHING OFFENSIVE CONTACT THE This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . ENJOY!

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves. The lad asked, "What is this, father?" The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls. The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out. The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother." Yo Ho Ho! UK - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 14:29:59 (BST)

A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face. "Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside. He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud. "Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home." The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep. "You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said. "Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?" "You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

Q. What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a rope around him? Ans. "Pull Toy"
Q. What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a child on his lap? Ans. Amusement Ride
Two vultures sitting in a tree. One vulture sees a man in a wheelchair going down a hill. He taps the other vulture and says " Say, look Fred........ Meals on Wheels" Frank Thomas < This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it > Muskegon, MI United States - Tuesday, July 06, 2004 at 16:59:04 (BST)

Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same. The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr Independent and isists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!! CyberQuad < This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it > Ottawa, ON CA - Friday, May 21, 2004 at 18:11:41 (BST)

A bloke is showing two young American girls around London and they come to a Pelican crossing. He presses the button and the pedestrian signal goes 'bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep....' 'Whats that for?' asked one of the girls. 'Oh thats just to let the blind know that the lights have changed' said the bloke. 'My Gaad' she said, really shocked, 'in the States we don't even let them drive...' John < This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it > London, UK - Monday, October 18, 2004 at 08:23:34 (BST)

There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, and 3) would be good in bed. Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs. "I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you." "Yes, but are you good in bed?" "How do you think I rang the doorbell?" Yo Ho Ho! UK - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 14:31:45 (BST)

Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms the second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head sank straight to the bottom. Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue the head guy. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering. Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: "Three goddamn years I've spent learning to swim with my goddamn ears, then five seconds before the whistle, some bastard puts a swimming cap on me" Yo Ho Ho! UK - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 14:30:20 (BST)

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward. The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.
The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not disabled." The boy replied,"I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved." Yo Ho Ho! UK - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 14:29:18 (BST)